It is not because I do not believe, it is because of my beliefs that I must resist

What is right and true and just?

There is so much noise and despair and destruction.

I find that I want to just look away, not know, tune it out and chase beautiful things, peaceful things in order to remain stable and continue healing.

I have warred with myself as to what is “enough” and what I am unable to bear in doses, which dose is enough and not going to drown me?

Senseless loss. Natural disasters, governmental overbearance, injustice, callousness, crimes, health and starvation, disasters, wars, so much darkness coming in a never ending succession.

We are called to peace, we are also called to understanding and dialogue and action, challenging unjust systems and treatment of our brothers and sisters. Isn’t that what missionaries are sent to do? To minister to others in more dire economies, war torn countries, underdeveloped areas, foreign issues that matter to Christ? Bringing good news and also physical help, whether water or bread or aid?

How can we sustain ourselves and our bodies, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically while surrounded by horrors and bad news?

I believe we each must find our mark, our point of no return, our place and our mission. For some it may be in creating beauty and in gifting, for some writing, for some in protest and calling to action, for some in policy and governmental work and aid, for others in creating sustenance through businesses, raising families who are compassionate and kind, reactive through character, others maybe simply powerfully through prayer.

What we cannot do is avoidance, looking away. It is how these systems work, through oppression even fatigue. Whether religious systems or governmental regimes, palaces or white houses, they count on us being compliant and silent. Fatigued. Busy. Compliant.

We are not all called to war, certainly not.

We are called to peace, humility, mercy and justice and we must ask ourselves where we will answer these callings. I am not sure of my own, though I am asking and looking, carefully considering where to make an impact, prayerfully seeking my boundaries. I have spoken against sytems that I felt called to speak against, it nearly broke me, in many ways it has created rifts and costs, casualties I did not foresee. I must choose wisely and not outstep my calling, cautious but also listening.

It is because I believe that I must resist. Even if it comes in the form of daily kindness and hope and offering peace and support where I see friends struggling, or offering an olive branch and praying for enemies known and those I feel are enemies of peace. It won’t change the world, but it is not lying down in the current, it’s a start.